Sometimes you come across a concept that just sticks with you.
I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance a couple of years ago now, but there are a couple of concepts from the book that I find myself thinking of often. None more so than the idea of Quality.
For those who haven’t read it, the book is part fiction, part philosophy textbook, part autobiography, and part holy tome. It is an exploration of one man’s metaphysical journey to uncover the meaning behind the word “Quality” and the toll it took on him.
I’m not sure the book ever truly comes to a definitive answer, but if I had to sum it up I would say that something is of high quality if there is a sense that it is doing what it’s supposed to do. That it’s doing it well. That it’s fulfilling its purpose. That it is acting in accordance with its identity.
Quality is a certain rightness. It’s hard to put your finger on, but it is clear whether it is there or not.
The idea of Quality shows up everywhere once you are looking for it. In the startup world, we call it “product market fit.”
Product market fit is when there is a resonance between what you are building and a problem that needs solving in the world. When customers want your product so badly they are basically ripping it out of your hands. I love Michael Seibel’s description of product market fit in this week’s Invest Like the Best episode. He describes the utter craziness you experience when your company finds product market fit. There is no time to sit around waxing philosophically on whether or not you have found this mythical equilibrium between a product and a market need, you are simply running around like crazy trying to keep all your servers from getting shut down by a complete deluge of users.
I think we see the idea of Quality in our personal lives too.
I remember a crisp fall day in college when my fraternity was asking a sorority to go with us to homecoming (a tradition that I have nothing but fondness for due, in no small part, to the role it played in introducing my wife and I). There was another fraternity that was asking this same sorority, so things were pretty competitive and the stakes laughably high. I spent that day running all over campus wheeling and dealing. Cajoling and entreating. I was trying to get my brothers organized at the same time I was coming up with new ideas for events we could hold. I didn't have a chance to sit around and think, I was too busy problem solving and executing. Now the context around this example is a little silly, but I remember at one point having this shock of clarity where I thought "This is awesome. I am good at this. I like this." Creative problem solving, communication, taking action, working on a team. I was doing something that perfectly fit my strengths. And it felt amazing.
Unfortunately in life, I think we so often experience the idea of Quality through its absence. There may be a wrongness in our lives that we struggle to explain. We may feel tired, disjointed, frantic, and anxious. We may feel like we are doing something wrong but we don't quite know what. We feel somehow less than what we know we could be.
I know I've experienced this dissonance. This dearth of Quality. If Quality is finding that magical apex of purpose where we are doing exactly what we should be, then anything else is a fundamental breach of our identity. There are gradients to this of course, but I believe that over time, the results of sustained actions that run counter to our core self are inevitably disastrous.
If you are in a career or relationship that is discordant with your notion of your own identity and purpose, it will eat away at you. For a day, a month, or maybe even years, it can be tolerable. We can pull the wool over everyone's eyes, including our own. But eventually, it will degrade you in a way that leaves a mark.
Maybe you are just so drained you miss a step in other places of your life. Maybe you are irritable or quick to judge when you know you are naturally easy-going. Worst of all, maybe you start to shift your core identity away from what you know to be true in order to somehow make the days and years more tolerable.
I look around me and see this among my peers and friends. As I get started at business school I see it in my new classmates. I have felt it myself in my career and life. A fundamental mismatch between what I am doing and what I should be doing. I think that it is natural to experience this in life. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that it is part of the human experience.
The unease you feel when acting counter to who you know yourself to be is actually a good thing. It is the latent potential energy that pulls you towards finding that apex of Quality where you are acting in a way that is core to your conception of self. Don't avoid it or pretend it isn't there. Lean into it. Ask yourself why you are feeling this way. What needs to change? Who are you? If you saw your ideal conception of yourself in this situation how would you expect them to act? How are you acting differently? Why are you acting differently?
Quality in sport, business, and life is magical. It is poetry in motion. It is a master at work on their craft. It is an internal rhythm and music that is in sync with the world around it. Like a tool in the toolbox that does exactly what it was designed to do and does it to perfection, living in accordance with your identity is the path to joy. Joy. Not happiness. Happiness is a stimulus-response from external actions. Joy is the music that your soul makes when you find the resonance point where your actions and words align perfectly with your identity, strengths, and purpose.
When you’ve found it, appreciate it and try to hold on to it. It may take years to build towards this resonance but, like a note played jarringly out of key, it can be lost in an instant by acting counter to who you are.
If you aren't there yet. That's ok! I'm not either. We've got time. People forget that life is long and full of possibilities. But pay attention. Pay attention to how your actions and the words you say make you feel. Pay attention to whether a relationship makes you feel better about yourself or worse. Pay attention to whether coworkers act in accordance with your value system or not. Social pressure is a helluva drug and if you surround yourself by people who act in a way that is discordant to you, it will be extremely hard not to eventually adjust yourself to appease them.
Stay strong. Stay curious. Think about yourself, and who you are, and what you were put on this earth to do. You may not have all the answers, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be asking the questions.
Whatever you do don’t settle. There is no quicker way to ruin your life than to accept a discordant path as "just the way it is". How many drones are there in our society who spend time with people who make them feel less then they are? Who work at jobs they hate? Corporate soldiers committing atrocities against others and themselves because they are just following orders. Wayword tools in the tool kit. Without purpose, form, or function.
If you are reading this and think, “man Erik woke up on the existential side of the bed this morning,” there is probably some truth in that. All this discussion of purpose and identity can sound a little whimsical at times.
But that doesn’t mean there isn’t some truth in here. I hope I am getting to the heart of things. Maybe I am just dancing around it. Either way, I think it could be helpful for you to think about as I know it has been for me.
Our society holds up ideals that, for most of us, are of poor Quality. It worships freedom instead of purpose. Pleasure instead of joy. Memories instead of meaning. It tells us that work is only a means to an end and that relationships are worthwhile as long as they serve us.
I am not wise. I don't know how the world works better than anyone else. I am trying to figure it all out and these writings are a record of my thoughts and how they evolve. But one thing I have learned is that freedom is only a means to an end. True freedom is having the ability to choose what to commit yourself too and then doing so wholeheartedly.
If you are feeling ill at ease with where you are in life, join the club. Most of us do. Finding capital-Q “Quality” in our lives is the rarified air of a select few who choose not to settle for anything less than exemplary. Who refuse to bear the burden of a life lived in discord to oneself. Who stare into the face of the lies we are told, standing unassailably and whisper, "not for me."
It isn’t an easy path, but the right path rarely is.
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